Do you know that I have often likened marriage to that of a dance? And, after thirty-three years of marriage, I am still likening marriage to a dance. Hubs leads; I follow. He strides; I stride with him. He dips; I let him dip me.
It has not always been an easy dance. It seems anyone else can whirl me around the dance floor with little to no effort. But I am not married to them.
With us, it has been more of a stumbling over each other’s feet. He doesn’t seem to be leading, so I lead just when he finally puts his foot out to lead. As you know, patience is not my best virture.
It has taken hubs and I the better part of thirty years to learn each other’s rhythms. But the important thing is we keep trying. We keep hanging in there. We love music; even though hubs is more Country and I am more Rock & Roll. We each sing and practice our steps in the late evenings. We are getting better.
How is it with your relationship? Do you expect to be the same? Do you tug and he pulls? Does he or she lead and you follow willingly? Or reluctantly? What are your expectations of marriage, engagement, or living together?
When hubs and I first started out, I wasn’t sure we would make it. But something kept pulling us back toward each other. I love to dance, and when I realized we didn’t quite click on the dance floor I wondered if we would make it to the next date. Over time, I learned that there is a lot more to marriage than if we can dance on the dance floor or not. It is a matter of if we can dance in real life that matters.
Now that we are maneuvering what I hope is the last few weeks of our transition from city life to country life and, ultimately, retirement life, I can feel the dips and turns and spins as we navigate the unexpected. Knowing how tired I am, I anticipate that hubs must be more tired, and I try to make some things as easy as possible for him. I try to pick up the slack here or there and carry onward even though I am struggling with my own exhaustion.
Thankfully (and hopefully), by the time, I write my next marriage post, we will be closed on our city home and living fulltime at our country place. Hubs is still working even though his last day was supposed to be August 31. Hopefully, October 8 will be it.
As with everything and anything though, there is no way of knowing for sure. All we can do is “plan to be surprised,” be open to the possibilities, and embrace what happens.
How about you? How do you face change in your relationship(s)? Do you embrace it? Resist it? Are you excited for whatever life brings you and your partner? Or do you fear it? Hopefully, you have learned, or are learning, to be open – with excitement – to the life that you are building.
As for me and hubs, we are practicing patience (yes, I am trying) and eagerly anticipating life together in one place…as the past few months have been quite challenging.
Mostly, I am looking forward to rest…peace…quiet…and evenings of our favorite music…and slow dancing.
Until next time, I wish you all the best in your relationship. May you find pleasure in the life you have created or are creating. May the future hold only the best possibilities. And if – for some reason – life is not so kind, may you lean into each other for the comfort which God provides us in the specialness of our relationships. Oh, and then…just dance.
Peace and love to you and yours.
Weekly blogs on marriage are posted on or as close to the second Sunday of each month.
Next scheduled topic (third Sunday of the month) will be on fitness, health, and/or well-being.
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Be safe out there and may blessings be yours!