I believe wholeheartedly that forgiveness leads to gratitude and vice versa. When we are grateful, we are more apt to be forgiving. And when we forgive, we are grateful for so much than we could imagine ourselves capable of. There are so many correlations between forgiving and being grateful, and one can only reap the benefits of both – by first being or doing either.
If you have struggled with one or the other, you know it isn’t always easy to be forgiving or grateful any day of the year much less on any given holiday. We are each so affected by so many things from allergies and how they affect our bodies to other people and how they treat us. But when we start to determine what causes us to feel bad and therein set new boundaries for ourselves, we can begin to feel gratitude and be forgiving of things we can control and grateful for them also. And, over time, we can even be forgiving of and grateful for those things we cannot control.
Stepping Into It
First, we need to start with ourselves. Is there anything in our life we need to forgive our own self for? Did we let ourselves down? Did we do something to someone else – intentional or unintentional which we need to let ourselves off the hook for? Did we break a commitment? Did we take on too much and now don’t know how to back away and do less without feeling like we are a failure?
Next, we need to give ourselves permission to be human, to fail, to not be perfect. We need to realize it’s okay to change our minds, to do stupid things and regret it, and to fail others and even ourselves. Every personal is born with a moral integrity of right and wrong. When we fail to stand up for ourselves or to take up for someone else, a little part of us dies inside. But we can learn to have courage to change and uphold the rights of others and for our own being. We can let go of the fear that’s keeping us from standing up for good and against bad and be okay with others noticing that we stand behind our convictions.
And, thirdly, we need to realize that we don’t have to do it alone. We can turn to God (or to our inner power) to show us which way to go. We can pray or meditate for direction and the intuition to choose better next time. We can become the person we admire in others who stand up for right, who set boundaries and keep them, who help others without failing themselves. All we have to do is be open to being grateful for what we have and what we like about ourselves while also forgiving that which we may not like and want to change.
Making Small Changes
Take a look around your space. What do you see? Choose to keep one thing you like and to change one thing you don’t like. Now, look outside your space. Think about your drive to work or your work space. What one thing do you like? What one thing would you change? And now, look at who you are and what you stand for, who your friends are, what you eat. Find one thing you’d like to improve upon and one thing you can let go of to make your life more rewarding or beautiful.
Over time, you will find that life is more wonderful than it is horrible and that forgiving or being grateful isn’t so hard after all. We cannot change the world. Wars, disasters, and accidents will always happen. We cannot change other people; they will do what inspires or propels them forward. But we can change our space, what we do, how we feel, and which direction we want our life to head by being more forgiving and more grateful – every day, little by little.
Use Positive Words
Sometimes, little words of inspiration and encouragement, or mantras, go a long way to helping us make these small changes toward a more forgiving and grateful heart. “I am grateful for you.” “I forgive you.” “Thank you.” And, “Please forgive me.” Try starting with yourself and saying them to the You that was once hurt long ago or even just yesterday. Then, take them and say them (in your mind) to that one thing or person that has been giving you grief. You will be amazed.
Our mind believes what we tell it. If we fear, if we love, if we are tired, our minds and bodies will react to what we are thinking. Try the use of positive words, or mantras, and your life will change for the better. Gratefulness and forgiveness will abound.
Take it slow. Don’t expect a miracle right away. But if you are genuinely looking to be more grateful, forgiving, and generous in your behavior, then you will will see a difference. You will not only see the world with a half full glass but an entirely full glass.
May you have a wonderful Thanksgiving in however way you will celebrate. If this Thanksgiving you are suffering from loss of any kind, hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. Things take time. Focus on what you can do and what you can enjoy. Reach out to a friend. And know you can get through this.
Love & hugs, Virg
Thank you for reading this post. If you’d like to read more of what I write about, you can find my book, HONOR ONE ANOTHER: The ABCs of Embracing Our Spirit Within, on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org. Just search my full name, Virginia Alice Crawford. It’s a short book with very short inspiring reflections that can be read in one sitting or over the course of a month’s time.
You can also follow me on Instagram at @virginia.alice.crawford.
Virginia Alice Crawford 